The Throbbing Heart of Adommy Lambiff
by youtuber411
Summary: It's a story. It's Adommy. Any Questions? Good. It's rated M because I'm not sure how far Adam and Tommy will go. They have a mind of their own.
1. Still Pondering

**It's one fifty-four in the morning, I'm just chilling on my laptop, decided to write a story. Why not, right? Basing it off of my two favorite gay guys in the world! Love you two!**

**I don't own Adam Lambert or Tommy Joe Ratliff (No matter how many times they beg) because I decided human ownership\slavery isn't something I totally agree on… but apparently, they don't care.**

**If you don't love it, please **_**don't **_**come to my house waving pitchforks and torches until **_**after **_**I'm awake, thank you :)**

**~youtuber411\PinkIce**

**Chapter I: Still Pondering...**

Adam POV:

"Adam?" Tommy Joe stepped shyly out of the kitchen, wearing nothing but my black pinstripe dress shirt.

I set my journal aside. "Yes, Glitterbaby?"

"You, uh… you won't tell Monte about last night… will you?"

I smiled at the memory of last night. If I concentrated, I could still picture Tommy with his head thrown back against my pillows, blond angelic hair all messy, sweat running down his perfect body. I would kiss and bite at his neck and the soft moan escaping his lips would send chills down my spine. "Why? What are you afraid of?" Tommy looked away, his hair falling in his face. "Come here, pretty boy."

Nevertheless, looking away, Tommy approached me. "I'm just… still pondering _us_… that's all. You understand."

"Still?"

"Look," his eyes finally met mine. "Last night was everything you said it would be… if not more… but… I don't know. Everything is coming so fast. Let's just slow down… just a little!" a look of guilt and regret crossed his face. Guilt and regret because of _me _and _him last night_… Guilt and regret because of _me _and _him_… Guilt and regret because of _me_…

I sighed. "Ok, Tommy Joe. I agree." I smiled at him. Although, inside I was torn apart. I had given this elfish boy my all last night… and it _wasn't _easy. The last thing I had ever wanted to do was hurt or scare my Glitterbaby… my Pretty boy… my Kitty. And although the voice in my head was telling me I was wrong, I _still _felt like I had done just that… scared the hell out of him… hurt him so that he would never return to my arms.

"Good! I'm glad to get that off my chest and out of my head." I wanted to be on his chest and in his head… he stood in front of me, as if expecting something. I could just picture what was underneath the shirt he was wearing. "Hey, I gotta bounce. I'll see you later…" he scampered down the hallway and returned minutes later, tugging on his own pants. "I'm meeting Cam. She wants to go shopping and Isaac sure as hell ain't goin. See you…"

He disappeared out the door. I walked down the hall to my room and could still feel the slight presence of Tommy Joe. My Tommy Joe… or what had been mine less than a half hour ago. My eyes scanned the clean room, finally penetrating a mess. I hated anything that messed up something that was clean. But… I smiled at the empty beer bottle, half empty bag of potato chips, and nearly full melted, dripping quart of vanilla ice cream, complete with a spoon and a straw.

What the heck, Glitterbaby?

"Tommy, with you ever leave her without leaving a mess behind you?" I asked the walls, cleaning up after the human tornado. Normally, I would have been scowling as I mopped up the puddles of ice cream on the tile floor, but this morning was different…

I'm just… still pondering _us_… that's all. You understand.

His words circled in my head, killing my mood.

No, Tommy Joe… I don't understand.

With the terrible clutter cleaned up, I noticed my black dress shirt that Tommy had just been parading around in. he must have been freezing in the middle of the night and awakened to find some cloth. Knowing Tommy, he would be to bored with his own clothing, so he'd scout out something in my closet that, even though I was a good foot taller than him, and a good deal wider than him, would fit him loosely, yet allowing him to look sexy.

And sexy was an understatement.

You've seen girls in the movies wearing they're boy toy's dress shirt and nothing else the morning after sex, I'm sure. Well, Tommy put them all to shame, no matter how many Grammy's they'd won for that scene.

I picked up the crumpled shirt off the ground and inhaled Tommy's distinct smell. Suddenly, I hated the shirt. I didn't even want it anymore, remembering how quickly, eagerly Tommy slipped out of it and into his own clothes… willingly equipping himself for the journey home… or at least to go shopping with Cam.

Why was Camila so interesting to Tommy? More interesting to him that me? No. I pushed the thought out of my head as soon as it entered. He just needs to get his mind off things… he needs time to think…

I checked my watch and decided it was time to go and meet up with Monte at Tacobell. Before I left, I reached into the hall closet and produced Monte's old leather jacket he'd had since Citizen Vein. It's time he got that back!

**Alright. Please review! Don't be afraid to pitch me your own idea's for the story! Should I write more? Should I stop writing? Should I quit writing on here and just stick to reading Adommy fictions? Should I go get a beer? Should orange be a real color? Should i try to grow a beard even though I'm a girl? Should I stop biting my nails? Should civil union be completely legal? Should toothpaste taste like bubblegum? Should I clean up the mess Tommy just left in my house? Should Adam and I finish redecorating my room? Should I go shopping with Camila tomorrow? REVIEW! *idontbite**

**~youtuber411\BlackFire**


	2. Advice

**Well, that was interesting... I've decided, since I'm still awake, I should just go ahead and do at least one more chapter before I head off to bed. Little background about myself: I love to write. If you were to ask me; Hey Luce, what are you doing today? I would simply reply; Writing. **

**It's my passion and I love to do it! I hope it's your passion to tell the truth! Let me know if I totally suck! Criticism counts and makes me a better writer.**

**If you love it however, uplifting words do the same. Thanks to everyone out there who has decided to give this… 'book' (I guess I could call it that) a try!**

**~youtuber411\PurpleWind**

**Chapter II: Advice**

**Tommy POV**

"…and then he was all, Whatever! And I was all, Shut up! It was so funny, Tommy.. Tommy? Tommy!" Camila snapped her fingers in my face.

"What? Oh, sorry… I was listening, I was just…"

Her eyes were heavy with concern and worry. "Come on." she said softly. "Let's head on over to Gloria Jeans, grab some coffee, and talk."

I nodded and followed her, readjusting my sunglasses, even though I was inside. One of the downsides of being famous… coffee would surely hit the spot and talking to Cam was one of my favorite things to do. Maybe the two combined would help to melt my thoughts since they've been frozen on Adam for the last hour.

"Come on, hun. Tell me what's wrong."

I sat across from her and sipped my Caramel Latte. "Adam and I… _did it _last night." I confessed, deciding it'd be better to just get to the point. I put my head in my hands. "I don't know… it was so amazing! I just…" I looked up at her. "I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm scared, Cam… terrified of what will happen next. With my luck, Adam'll die in a car accident or we'll somehow be split apart forever… I don't want to lose him, Cammie! He's.. He's all I've got…"

She reached across the table and touched my arm. "Tommy, honey, you're luck has nothing to do with you and Adam's relationship! Adam is a sweet sensitive guy. Don't play with his emotions or he might get the wrong idea. I think he really likes you, sweetheart!"

I wished desperatly that she would stop treating me like a kid. "But… my luck has everything to do with it! Every time I'm about to be happy, the shadow's of my dark past come in and snatch it away… look at me, Cam. Do I look happy? I can't remember the last time I've ever even been happy!"

She smiled. "Then what are you waiting for? Quit jinxing yourself, Thomas!" If anyone else besides Cammie and Adam were to call me Thomas, there would be some serious asskicking. "You've got a great guy in your grasp! don't let him slip through your fingers." she leaned back and drank her hot beverage.

"Is that all you got for me?"

"That's it, Tommy Joe."

"Would it make sense if I said I couldn't agree with you more?"

"No… but who says you have to make sense? Where is that written?"

I laughed. Alright. I'm going to do it. Next time I see Adam, I'm going to march right up to him, and tell him how I really feel about him…

Meanwhile,

Across town, Adam was just pulling into Tacobell… about to talk to Monte about the same exact thing…

**Alright. Please review! Don't be afraid to pitch me your own idea's for the story! Should I write more? Should I stop writing? Should I quit writing on here and just stick to reading Adommy fictions? Should I go get a soda instead? Should people be more considerate? Should I try to grow a pair even though I'm a girl? Should I stop eating so much? Should civil union be completely illegal? Should toothpaste taste like minty wonderfulness? Should I clean up the mess Tommy just left in my car? Should Adam and I finish making our bed? Should I go buy a new car tomorrow? REVIEW! *idontbite…veryhard**

**~youtuber411\RedLife**


	3. Hard To Get

**Friends… Colleagues… people who I don't even know… some other things about me; I have insomnia which is difficulty in sleeping: inability to fall asleep or to remain asleep long enough to feel rested. And lemme tell ya folks, it sucks! **

**Also; if I have an idea in my head, I can't stop writing. So hopefully this is the last on before I finally go to bed! Only time will tell when I will turn in for the night…**

**~youtuber411**

**Chapter III: Hard To Get**

Adam POV

I pulled into Tacobell next to Monte's white Ford Cargo van, a.k.a. the 'Hunk-o-Junk'. I smiled at the dents, scratches, and rust patches. That thing has been all around the world and back! That's probably why Monte calls it The Beast. It looked even worse next to my new silver Camaro. The horn honked twice behind me as I locked it with the keychain remote. The two employees, who were camped outside smoking, stared.

"Dang!" one of them said, taking another drag on her cigarette.

I craved a smoke right now and scowled at the unfriendly little NO SMOKING symbol… I'll have one on the way back. I checked my watch. 11:30. The door dinged as I walked in.

"Hey, man!" Monte called from across the room. I gave a little wave and walked up to the counter.

"Can I get a double decker taco, large soda, and some cinnamon twists? Thanks." I handed him my credit card and my drivers license. He scanned my card and handed them both back to me. He turned and walked towards the back… he returned a few minutes later with my food.

"Here you go, sir."

I filled up my cup and sat across from Monte. I folded my hands, bowed my head and said a quick prayer. Before eating, I touched my forehead, and my chest, forming a cross.

"Dude, what the heck?"

I shrugged. "I always pray before eating at fast food places."

That made him laugh. "Maybe I should too!"

I tossed him his jacket. "Here."

"Ugh. It smells like you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, It wouldn't if you hadn't left it at my house two weeks ago!"

"It wouldn't have been there if you didn't have that rave party!"

"Well, excuse me!" we stared each other down for a few seconds, then burst into laughter. "It's good to see you, man!" he pounded my fist.

"You too! How are you?"

"I'm in a tight spot with Tommy."

"Oh? Please continue." he took another bite of his burrito.

I explained everything. The night, the morning, Tommy's look of regret, ending with the way Tommy rushed out the door. Monte listened to the whole thing, nodding and 'mhm'ing when necessary.

He thought a little before talking. "Look… you and I both know that Tommy is a little more… feminine than most guys. So… this might sound weird, but maybe you should treat him more like a girl… girls hate it when guys play hard to get. It drives them insane so they go to drastic measures! Here's my advice; play hard to get…"

"They do?"

Monte gave me an 'are you serious' look. "When is the last time you've gone out with a girl? An actual girl? I'm not talking about a guy who dressed like a girl, no transgender shit, I'm talking about a _girl_!"

I sighed. "Well, I guess it's no secret."

"I asked you a question."

"Alright. Ok. I haven't gone out with a 'real' girl since… seventeen… I was seventeen."

Monte just nodded. "Play hard to get."

"Ok, I will… thanks!" the door dinged lightly and I turned to see who came in. My eyes widened. This gorgeous blonde young man had entered, his brown eyes scanned the room, then lit up when he saw Monte and I. He walked over, flipping his hair out of his face.

Hard To Get! Monte mouthed to me. I replied with a slight nod.

I smiled to myself thinking that only a few hours ago, this gorgeous blonde had been mine… in my bed… in my arms… then I remembered his regret… you could cut the fucking tension in this room with a pair of scissors!

Tommy POV

"Hey." I said casually.

"Tommy! Whatcha doing here, kid?"

I was always referred to as 'kid' by Monte. And in a way, I was the kid of the band. I was certainly shorter than all of the others, and although I won't admit it, I do act childish, sometimes even annoying, from time to time.

"Well, Cam," I gestured to the raven haired woman ordering our food, "asked me what I wanted to eat, and I replied…" I said, waiting for them to figure it out.

"Tacos." they said, almost immediately, nodding in unison.

"Yup! So…" I slid in the booth next to Adam. "What are you guys talking about?"

"We're contemplating on if the meat in this burrito is real… hmm…" Monte replied, winking at Adam, who laughed softly. Cam walked over and slid in with Monte, tossing me my seven tacos. I spotted Adam's half eaten double decker.

"Why is it that you always eat less than I do, Babyboy?"

He just shrugged and engaged Monte in a conversation. I felt the sting of being purposely overlooked. Cam gave me a sympathetic look and tried numerous times to get me into the conversation. But Adam wouldn't acknowledge me at all…

Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. My ex-girlfriend had been right all along… Adam had just used me to get what he wants… my breathing became heavy. What a bastard!

I looked over at him and caught his eye. He looked away quickly. Holy shit! What an ass hole! Deep down, I knew Adam was not like that… but… could I have been wrong?

**Shall I continue? Shall I stop? You decide! Please Reveiw! #idontbiteveryhard...unlessineedto**


	4. Explosive Actions

**Ok, here's Part Four.. It's about 8:30, and I'm tired… but, anyway, listening to Beyond the Sky by the Citizen Vein. (which, incase you didn't know, is a song by the band with Monte Pittman and Adam Lambert.)**

**Alright, here we go…**

**~youtuber411**

**Chapter Four: Explosive Actions**

**Adam POV: **_**(if its italicized, it means its not Adam's POV, I wanted to do a POV but there were parts I wanted to keep, but didn't know what to do with, so bear with me!)**_

Tommy sat against the wall in his bunk of the tour bus, not concentrating at all on his book.

"Tommy!" I called. Tommy's head snapped up so quickly in surprise that he smacked it against the wall, hard.

"Ow!" he reached back to rub his head, but I beat him too it. My fingers expertly massaging the lump that rose slightly.

_Tommy felt the need to resist him, after all, he hasn't talked to him in a week unless necessary, but… he let him, closing his eyes, just enjoying the feel of Adam's hand against the throbbing lump on his head. _

'You like that, Glitterbaby?' He thought with a smirk as he watched Tommy's eyes close in pleasure.

"You should be more careful, Glitterbaby!" Adam muttered with a chuckle.

_Tommy just sighed. Adam's fingers disappeared from his head quicker than he had wanted. _

"Do you want to go somewhere with me? Just to talk?" I asked as Tommy looked into his blue eyes.

'_He looks sincere enough. Should I play along?' Tommy thought._

"I don't know, are you going to actually talk to me? Or ignore me like you have for the past week? Cause if so, I don't know if I want to, Lambert."

"Tommy.." I reached toward the blonde bassist and hugged him tightly.

Tommy pulled away. "Did you feel sorry for me? Did you know how I felt and just… decide to play with my emotions? Did you use me to get what you want? Is this some kind of game? Because if it is, I don't want to play!" Tommy's eyes stung, but he wouldn't stop. "Were you pretending? You told me you love me, were you lying? Adam, please, I want the truth… I just want the truth." a slow tear rolled down his cheek, followed by another, then another. He reached up to wipe them away, but more came.

_Tommy was surprised that he could cry after all those nights of sitting alone in his one room apartment, bawling his eyes out, thinking of the beautiful male singer, and how he used him. _"D-did you.." Tommy sniffed. "Did y-you-" he couldn't talk anymore, all he could do was cry. Cry and tremble and blush. _He was so embarrassed that he was crying like a baby in front of Adam. _

_Speaking of Adam_, all he did was sit there and look away. He couldn't bear seeing his love sobbing uncontrollably. "Tommy, you have no idea why I did that."

Tommy looked up at me, I met his eyes. "W-why then, A-Adam?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to figure out how I should word this.

"O-ok, I see how it is. Quick, A-Adam! Th-think of an excuse!" He said sarcastically, suddenly getting all bold and daring. Even though his eyes were all red and puffy, he looked at me, accusingly.

"Thomas Joseph Ratliff! How could you think I would make something up to justify myself? You _know _I would _not _do that! God Tommy, why do you always have to fuck with my life? It started with the band auditions, then the AMA's was the worst. I realized that I _wanted _you Tommy… I wanted you so badly! I love you! Well, Monday I got you.. I finally got you and you know what? Do you remember what you said to me? 'I'm just… still pondering _us_… that's all. You understand.' No Tommy, I don't understand! Please enlighten me because I. Don't. Get It." I was so riled up, I was practically screaming at him.

The serious, yet guarded look in his eyes pierced right through me. "I-I didn't mean… Adam I swear I wasn't… Please understand… just…" Then I realized what the guarded look was… he was scared… he was scared… of me! His hands were slightly shaking, I noticed. When he became aware that I was staring at his shaking hands, his eyes widened and he slipped them under the blanket and out of sight. It was then I realized how small and fragile he was… I had always known he was smaller than me, but I've also always known him to be independent… not a frightened little child! His widened eyes had a certain child-like glow that I couldn't explain… he opened his quivering mouth. "Look, I never… I didn't-"

"Shh, Tommy, shh!" I held him and he burst into tears. He cried into my shoulder for hours. I stroked his blonde soft hair. "I _do _love you, Tommy."

He sniffed and looked up at me with bloodshot eyes. "I know Adam… I know…"

**Well, there it is^ Thank you for reveiwing and please continue to do so:) dont be afraid to pitch your own ideas! Do i portray the charactors properly? keep reading this will get interesting! (or will it?)**

**~youtuber411**


	5. The Cutting Edge

**Starting Part Five at 11:30 at night.. Part four took me two hours. So lets see how long this one takes. Again, I do not own Adam Lambert, Tommy Joe Ratliff, or any other human being (or song) that I put in this story. **

**Enjoying some chocolate milk at the moment. Hmm… needs more chocolate. Wait, what are you doing, Luce? This is a story! Not a blog! Ok, I'm just going to stop narrating everything I'm doing and continue this Adommy fiction, sound good?**

**Thank you for the reviews, keep em coming! **

**~youtuber411**

**Chapter Five: The Cutting Edge**

Adam POV:

I woke in my bed. Well, not exactly my bed, just the bed that's in the back room of the tour bus. I smiled at the small blonde bassist whom I was holding tightly in my arms. His neck was right in front of my face, and I dared to kiss it lightly.

After our argument yesterday, Tommy had gone back to his book, and things turned back to normal. Normal as in I wouldn't ignore him, and I would kiss him whenever Longineu wasn't looking.

That night, I crawled into the bus's bed, exhausted from packing up the bus for the oncoming tour for my new album 'Wishing'. **(Wishing is a made up album, that I made up, and it is completely made up by me!) **it was so hot last night I was wearing only my boxers.

The door to my room opened slowly, and Tommy cautiously entered. "Adam, can.. can I stay with you tonight? Please?"

"Of course!" I had scooted over in my bed, allowing room for my Pretty boy. Despite the heat, Tommy was wearing boxer shorts, like me, but he was also wearing a hoodie sweatshirt. Knowing he'd be roasting, I tried to remove the sweatshirt.

"No, Adam! I need this!" too tired to argue, or ask him why, I just let him be. But now as it was morning, and I wasn't tired anymore, I tugged at the zipper. Underneath, Tommy was shirtless. I straddled him and kissed and nipped at his neck, then moved down to his nipples, kissing every bit of skin my lips connected to on the way down.

As I licked at and sucked lightly on one nipple, a soft moan escaped his lips. I attempted to remove the whole sweatshirt again, but Tommy responded the same. He zipped it back up, and crossed his arms, claiming that he 'wasn't in the mood.' I sighed and got off him.

"Do you want to get some coffee?" his brown eyes pleaded.

"Sure. Yeah, sure Tommy, whatever you want." I smiled and he smiled back.

"Thanks."

I slipped my leather boots on. Longenue was leaning on the door frame, just watching me. "You know we have rehearsal this morning."

"It's just coffee, Longenue, just coffee."

He looked at me skeptically. "You know, Monte was saying that you two should just start dating. I guess I have to agree with him on that one…"

I looked up. "Longenue, you hate the idea of two gay guys together in the next room." I pointed out.

"Well, that may be true, but you and Tommy… you guys have this… thing. I'm not sure how to put it but… its like… you two are perfect for each other."

"Thanks, I think so too… just, don't make Tommy think we're rushing into things…" he nodded. "Well, I'll see you at rehearsal."

He gave a slight wave, then hopped up on his bunk and opened his laptop. I bounded out the door, glad to be alone with Tommy who was sitting in my front seat, his feet up on the dash, his hoodie string in his mouth. I slid in the front seat of my silver Camaro.

"Ready?" he just nodded. I pulled away from the bus and down the street. Tommy was being awfully quiet. That can't be good. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just in pa- um… I'm fine." he slid deeper into the seat.

"Did you say you were in pain?"

"No!" he said too quickly.

"I hope your right, Kitty." I pulled into the almost empty lot. He said nothing and just opened the car door and got out.

We ordered our coffee and sat at a quaint little table. It wasn't long before Tommy spilled his coffee, right on the cuff of his hoodie. "Damn it!" he pulled up the sleeve a little and inspected the cuff, dripping with coffee. It was then I noticed the bright red, deep, almost healed scars. One of the cuts had started to bleed again. "Adam, could you go get me some napkins?" I wouldn't move, just stared at his arm. "Adam?" he snapped his fingers in my face.

I reached over and pulled the sleeve up a little more. Then, he realized what I was looking at. "Tomm-"

"It's nothing Adam!" he snapped, raising his voice. "God, just leave me alone!" he wrung out the sleeve. "This was a bad idea… lets go home… or I mean back to the bus."

I couldn't concentrate at all on the song I was singing. My attention kept going back to my little blonde bassist, who was still wearing the sweatshirt and strumming the cords, eyes closed, feeling the music.

"…Music again, look into my eyes baby..." I stopped singing. one by one, the band stopped playing, Tommy was the last to stop. "I, uh…" I tried to think of a reason I stopped. "I think we're good, for now. we're ready for the tour."

"But, Adam, we only-"

"We're done Longenue!" I snapped.

"Adam, honey, what's wrong?" Cam asked, stepping away from her keyboard.

"What? Uh, nothing… I just… want to stop. I need some sleep." I got off my stood and walked out the door and into my Camaro. I put my head between my knees and tried to breath. the nausea didn't disappear. "Ugh!" I groaned. Too sick to drive, I walked all the way back to the tour bus, and opened a can of Ginger Ale.

It didn't help. What am I going to do about Tommy? I pondered as I curled up on a random bunk and fell asleep…

**And there you have it, Chapter Five! enjoy! **

**~youtuber411**


	6. Promises

**Alright. Sitting at my computer, waiting for my McDonalds food, writing part six… Ooo boy… Had like three gogurts today… just… idk. ok here you go!**

**Did you need it? Adam Lambert… oh yes.. Good song..**

**(Isaac and Longenue's background is fiction)**

**~youtuber411**

**Chapter Six: Promises**

**(Another) Adam POV: ( I know I know. But come on, work with me here!)**

"Adam… Adam? Adam!" Tommy shook me so hard he accidentally pulled me off the bunk.

"What the?" I landed with a thud. "Ow!" All Tommy could do was sit there and cover his mouth, eyes wide. Oops. I looked up at him from the floor.

"Uh… feeling better?" he asked.

We both burst into a fit of laughter. He helped me up. "I-I'm so sorry! I di-didn't mean to-to do that!" I said between giggles.

"I-I was gonna s-say: I don't remember asking fo-for a wake up call!" we laughed harder, I was holding my sides because they hurt so badly. In a few minutes, our laughter died down. "Did you need something?"

"Well, it's eleven thirty, and you're kinda in my bunk."

"Oh." he must have detected the disappointment in my voice, so he smiled.

"Hey, I've been in the mood to watch Insidious. How about you go set up your DVD player, huh? What do you say?"

I smiled. "Ok, sure!" and bounded into my room. Monte followed me.

"You do know, we're leaving at four in the morning, right?"

"I know Monte!" I said, irritated.

"Just sayin.."

"Whatever.." I muttered under my breath as he left. I changed into my black silk night pants. Tommy entered with the DVD in his hand. He was wearing his sweatpants and his hoodie again. "Tommy, you don't have to wear that hoodie… I've already seen the scars."

He nodded and slowly removed the sweatshirt. I gasped at he scars that lined, not only his wrists, but all the way up his arms. "What? You've seen them before."

"I'm just… trying to connect the dots… Tommy, why?"

He sighed. "You." he answered flatly.

"Me? Why?"

"You kept ignoring me… so I… what was I supposed to do, Adam? One night your there giving me everything I'd ever wanted… the next you're ignoring me… pretending like I didn't exist. What the hell Adam? I thought-…"

"You thought I used you." he nodded, eyes watering.

"Oh Tommy, you're such a baby." He said to himself, wiping away his tears, smearing his makeup.

"No, Tommy, you're not a baby. Something was really bothering me… Why were you still pondering us?"

"I… I wanted to think. Just think about it. When I slept with you, I was still 'strait', you remember?" I nodded. "Well, I realized I didn't want to claim to be strait anymore… I had to think of the pros and the cons. What did you think?"

"I thought you tried it and didn't like it. Monte said I should play hard to get, and just let _you _want _me_… it sounds stupid now that I say it out loud."

"We both should have talked about it first."

"Yes… next time, I promise I'll discuss the things that are bothering me with you."

He smiled. "And I'll do the same."

The movie was very scary. Tommy was curled up in my lap, holding my hand, shaking slightly. He would cover his eyes quickly, or gasp loudly whenever the red-faced… thing popped up on the screen. I was pretty terrified too.

Later that night, Tommy, the lucky bastard, fell right to sleep. I, however, stayed awake, with my eyes widened, penetrating every shadow, jumping at ever noise. Expecting an evil red-faced demon spirit to pop out of my closet…

**Tommy POV:**

I woke up to the annoying sound of Adam's alarm. "Adam, turn it off." it continued ringing in my ears. "Adam!" I sat up. He was gone. "Ugh…" I groaned and got out of his bed. I hit the top of his alarm clock and heard the shower water running. Oh. That's where he went. I stumbled out of the room and into the bus's small kitchen, where a pot of coffee was already brewed and waiting.

"Morning, Tommy. Your bunk missed you. Have fun last night _Kitty_?" Isaac taunted me.

"Shut up." I mumbled and poured myself a cup of coffee. Isaac Carpenter was one of Longenue's friends. They took drum lessons together. Longenue was only staying for half of the tour, then going back to YellowCard. Isaac was going to replace him from now on. I wasn't sure if I liked him just yet… I'd known him for less than a week, how did he know about my nickname?

Well, I guess it's no secret.

"Leave poor Tommy alone! Can't you see that he's exhausted? Good morning, Thomas, dear." Cam rubbed my shoulders.

"What time is it?" I asked, taking a sip of the bitter coffee before pouring milk in it.

"It's 3:24, hun."

My eyes snapped opened. "Really? Adam was already awake when I woke up… do you know how long he's been up?"

"I heard him in his room at two thirty. I know this because I was up all night." Longenue reported, arrogantly. He gestured to his laptop, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, looking up porn." Monte rolled out of his bunk.

"Oh haha was not!"

"Whatever you say Longie baby." it was early. Us three dudes liked to pick on each other, and we were sometimes successful enough to get Cam in on it… not this morning, though.

"Alright, alright come on guys, act your age." I chuckled. "Tommy." her tone warning.

"Sorry." I muttered and took another sip of coffee. Our bus driver entered.

"Alright, lets get this ball rollin'!" Boy was this guy strange…

**Reveiw!**

**~youtuber411**


	7. Security Blanket

**From here on out, I'm probably not going to continue this little intro thing. Just because… I've ran out of things to say lol Spell\Grammar mistake? Bear with me, I'm not **_**that **_**good at English!**

**~youtuber411**

**Chapter Seven: Security Blanket**

**Adam POV: (Yes, again. Don't yell at me.)**

I smiled at the blond curled up in my bed again. I checked my watch. 4:18. I walked out of my room. "Hey guys." every one was awake, well, except for Tommy. I hummed Down the Rabbit Hole as I poured my coffee.

"How'd you sleep, boss?" Isaac asked, cracking his knuckles.

"I didn't."

"What?"

"That movie last night? Insidious? Yeah, scary as hell! Pun intended!"

They all laughed. "I told you not to watch it!" Monte smirked at me.

"Yeah, yeah." I looked out the window at the trees zooming by.

"Adam, we're gonna be there at around noon. You should get some sleep. You look so tired! Go to bed."

"I have to agree with you, Cammie. Good night, all." I polished off the rest of my coffee and sauntered to the back of the bus where my door rested closed.

I had to admit, I was a little nervous in a dark room, but I found my way to my bed… and to my Tommy. I wrapped my Prettyboy in my arms. He nestled his head in my neck and kissed me lightly. I smiled and inhaled his sweet unique scent… Axe, aftershave, and vodka. Call me crazy, but I love it.

"Mmmadam?" his eyes fluttered open.

"Yes, Glitterbaby?"

"Could I… uh… possibly sleep here? Like… permanently? I really love it. It smells like you. It's kinda… my own little security blanket… in a non-creepy way."

I smiled at the soft blush that spread lightly across his face. "Of course, Tommy boy." I kissed him sweetly, deepening his blush. He nestled his head in the crook of my neck again. I kissed each of the silver scars that embellished his arms. He sighed sending chills down my spine as his breath lightly caressed my bare skin.

His breathing turned into a light patterned snore. It wasn't long until my own heavy eyes fluttered closed.

**Tommy POV: ("Finally! You got me in here!" "Shut up, Tommy!")**

I woke with my head and left arm hanging off the bed. I yawned and rubbed my eyes. Pulling them away, I noticed my fingers were coated in black. Ugh… I forgot to take off my makeup after I had teared up like a toddler last night. I sauntered to the bathroom.

I nearly fainted at the sight in front of me. My hair was all out of place, my makeup in terribly noticeable streaks that had run down my face last night, and were smudged everywhere from my sleeping. My bottom lip was cracked a little from lack of chapstick, and my eyes were bloodshot, a little. Adam kissed _this_?

I ran my tongue along the top row of teeth and I could literally _feel _the plaque. I shuttered in disgust and reached for a toothbrush, _any _toothbrush and brushed my teeth, quickly. I ran my tongue across my teeth again, satisfied. The toothbrush I held in my hand was black, and decorated with glitter, and clearly Adam's. Oops.

I just put it back and continued to fix my face. "This is as good as it's gonna get…" I said to my hideous reflection.

I bounded out of the bathroom like a drunk man, slipping into a pair of red skinnys. I was shoving my other leg through the pant leg when the bus lurched forward. I fell flat on my face. "Sorry!" the bus driver called. "Squirrel!" I sat up and somehow managed to untangle myself, then I realized I'd stuck my left leg in the right pant leg. Ugh! I gave up and just pulled on my old used-to-be-white sweatpants.

Somehow, Adam had slept through my little battle. I flipped on the TV and got a pint of chocolate ice cream out of his mini fridge. I ripped off my shirt and ate the delicious dessert with a fork. The CSI show immediately caught my attention and I tried to crack the case… this was how I usually spent my Saturday mornings.

"It's the ex-wife, I know it's the ex-wife!" I muttered, stuffing another forkful of chocolate into my mouth. I flipped the TV off, annoyed when the detective announced that it was, in fact, the butler.

"I knew it was the butler! He would have been my second choice… why didn't I notice he clocked out early the night of the murder? Why are you so off your game, Tommy Joe?" I asked myself, leaving the half empty pint on the floor. The bus lurched again, almost bashing my head against the door and tipping the pint over, spilling its melted contents everywhere.

Aww, shit! "Sorry! Bird!" I rolled my eyes. This guy was defiantly dropped on his head as a baby… a lot. I contemplated on whether I should clean up the mess or not… maybe a beer would help me decide.

I walked, still shirtless out of the room. Monte and Isaac were both playing poker, a cigar hanging from each one's mouth. They were so into their game to even look up at me. Longenue was back on his laptop, and Cammie was painting her nails neon green.

I pulled an ice cold beer from the fridge, and opened it just as Cam looked up at me.

"Tommy, honey, do you want me to redo you nails?" she asked, reaching for her silver polish. I nodded and sipped my frosty beer. I straddled the stool and spread my fingers on the table. She waited until she'd wiped off the chipped, left over polish, and started painting until she talked.

"Tommy, honey, what happened to your arm?" I knew she was inquiring to the light colored, slightly raised scars. I fingered them gingerly.

"Just… depression… long story."

"I won't pry. I just don't want to see my little Tommy Joe get hurt. Or hurt himself." I wished desperately that she would stop treating me like a kid!

"Thanks, Cammie. I'm done, though. I've got him."

"Adam? Again, I don't want to get in your business, but don't hurt yourself over a guy."

I just nodded as she applied another coat. Adam walked out of his room, carrying a pint of melted chocolate ice cream and a fork. Oops. Just Adam being in the same room as me made me brighten up. He must have noticed because he ran his finger seductively across my smiling lips. Cam winked at me as he walked away.

"See? Those cuts didn't get you any closer to him!"

"Maybe." I smiled.

**Review!**

**~youtuber411**


	8. The New Guy

**Chapter Eight(Already!):The New Guy**

**Tommy POV:**

The bus lurched to a stop, almost knocking over the plate holding my half-eaten sandwich, and shut off, along with the electricity and the water. My phone beeped, indicating that it was disconnected from the charger connecting it to the wall.

"Hey!" Monte pounded on the shower wall, causing me to laugh. The water must have stopped in the middle of his shower.

"Oops!" the driver started the bus again, my phone beeped again, CONNECTED flashing on the screen. I propped my feet up on the table and went back to my book. I felt cold fingers brush the back of my neck, tickling me.

I shook his hand off me. "Not now, Adam." I felt his lips attach to the back of my neck as he kissed me softly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Feeling relaxed, _Kitty_?"

My eyes snapped open and I elbowed him in the chest. "Isaac, you _creep_!" He was laughing. "That wasn't funny! God, leave me alone!"

"Oh, Tommy, you're too easy!" he slapped his knee.

I rolled my eyes and went back to my book. _How could you think it was Adam? How could you let him fool you?_

Adam walked out of his room, talking to someone on his phone. "Yeah… yeah, sure! I'd love to! Alright… bye!" he hung up with a smile on his face, and slipped his iPhone into his pocket. "Hey, Tommy, I'm going to meet an old friend of mine. I want you to come."

I just looked up at him blankly.

"Please?"

I sighed and closed my book. "Alright, fine." I followed him to his car.

""""""

"What's his name, again?" I asked for the third time, my feet on the dash, biting my nails.

"Sauli." Adam repeated, calmly.

_Sauli. Sauli. Sauli. _I thought, trying to memorize the name.

"What's the place called again?"

"The Hiatus Club."

"So… how do you know… Sully."

He laughed. "Sauli, Tommy… _Sauli_! We're just old friends."

"You _know _I'm not good with names! How did you meet him?"

He laughed again. "Tommy!"

"I'm sorry…" I slid deeper into the leather seat as he pulled into a very nice club\hotel with valet parking and everything. A man handed us a glass of champagne and took our jackets. I felt cold and exposed as I fingered the scars on my arm delicately.

Adam's pace quickened as he spotted a brunette guy at a fancy table, sipping champagne. The man's back was to us, and he was tapping his foot, impatiently, on the tile floor.

"Excuse me, sir, you're in my seat." Adam said in a very low voice.

The guy calmly stood.

_He's about my height_, I observed.

"I'm sorry, Adam…" he turned smiling.

"Damn it! How did you know?"

"We used to prank call each other all the time, remember? Come here, bud!" they hugged each other. I frowned… am I missing something? This was no ordinary hug-and-let-go-before-anybody-sees, keep-you-as-far-from-me-as-possible, single arm around the neck type man hug… no. This was a tight, long, hold-your-body-as-close-to-mine-as-possible, two armed, body-to-body, I-can-feel-every-detail-of-your-body, hug that Adam only gave me! The only other person I'd ever seen him give it to was Cammie, and that was when her boyfriend broke up with her!

"Who's this?" S… Sa… Sul… the guy acknowledged me.

"Oh, that's just Tommy."

_Just Tommy?_

"Well, Tommy, Adam, please, take a seat?"

"Where do I take it?" Adam joked.

S laughed louder than necessary. "Oh, Adam, I'd forgotten how funny you were!"

I sat in the seat next to Adam. "So, how have you been? It's been sooo long!"

"Yes it has! I've been wonderful, but I'd like to hear about you… and your friend, of course, how did you two meet?"

"Well, Sauli," _Oh, yeah… Sauli. _"He plays bass in my band." Sauli nodded. "You'll be glad to hear that my music is progressing. Yup. Gotta performance tonight actually."

"Really? I'd love to go to one of your shows!"

"Hey, you should come! You can stay back stage and everything!"

"Really? That'd be great!"

The two continued talking as I excused myself to the bar.

"Could I get a cold beer?"

"I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve beer here."

What? No beer? What kind of club is this? Whatsa fella gotta do around here to get a nice, cheap, frosty beer? "Then I'll have a glass of vodka, thanks." I turned back to look at Adam and… the guy when I heard a burst of laughter. Adam was sitting awfully close to him… they laughed and poked each other, Adam was playing with Sauli's hair.

"Actually, gimme the whole bottle…"

**Oh, Dear… Review!**

**~youtuber411**


	9. Good Friends

**So, due to writers block, I haven't decided what to do after this chapter… I have some ideas, but not enough to fill the page.. The next chapter might come slower than the others.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, and nobody in this story.**

**Chapter Nine: Good Friend**

**Adam POV:**

I looked over at the bar when I heard the loud obnoxious laughter. My eyes widened a little in shock. A beautiful blonde small man was sitting alone on a stool, talking to someone, or something, beside him… a half empty bottle of… _is that vodka? _rested in his hand. He was laughing as if he'd just heard something hilarious.

Two business men sitting a few tables away, dressed in the most expensive suits that caused me to look down at my random casual clothing with a hint of shame when I entered, were looking around, as if trying to find someone to take the drunk outside.

A woman and another man in an expensive suit were seated at another table, the man spread sheets of paper around, pointing out various paragraphs, probably a lawyer and his highest paying client, were staring, mouths dropped, at my beautiful Glitterbaby.

I sunk a little. _Should I go and get him? I don't want to embarrass myself in front of all these people… _I pushed that thought out of my head as soon as it entered. Even though he was drunk, he was still my boyfriend… and he would do the same for me.

I fished in my wallet. "I should probably-"

"I got it, Adam. Go help your friend." Sauli placed a reassuring hand on my arm, smiling.

I got up from the table and walked toward my Kitty. His laughing slowed.

"Adam! Care to join me?"

"Not now, come with me, Tommy." he nodded and stood. I wrapped my arm around his slender waist and lead him outside, and into the front seat of my car. Sauli followed us and walked to his car.

"How about I follow you to the bus?" he called.

"Alright, sounds good."

**Tommy POV:**

"I'm so sorry about that." I heard Adam's hushed voice through the closed door. I continued to stare straight ahead at my reflection, removing my stage makeup. The concert had been a major hit! Adam did three encores! My arms were still burning from my bass playing.

"Adam, it's _fine_! Really! These things happen!"

"I know, I'm just… so embarrassed."

"Don't be. At least you didn't ignore him like those stuck up snobs would."

"Yeah, but I'm still so _humiliated_…"

_I'm still so humiliated… humiliated… humiliated…_

Humiliated because of me… I embarrassed him. I didn't mean to… I sighed at the mirror again and tilted my head to the side, studying myself.

"This is as good as it's gonna get…" I walked casually out the door.

"Hi Tommy!" Sauli greeted me, cheerfully.

"Tommy, great news! Sauli is staying for the next show we have in town! You know, the one tomorrow morning? I figured it would be ok if he stayed the night here, isn't that awesome?" Adam and Sauli were sitting together on our bed, their hands almost touching.

It irritated me more than necessary. "Yeah. Great." I said without emotion. "Wait… where will he sleep?"

"Oh, um… well, he could take your old bunk… because now you sleep here.. with… me."

"Wait, Tommy sleeps in bed with you?"

"Yeah!" I said, proudly.

"So you actually replaced me, huh, Adam?" Sauli laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Replaced? What is he talking about, Adam?"

"You didn't tell him?" Adam just stared down at his hands. Sauli turned to me. "Adam and I used to date. Hell, we were even going to get married! I still have the ring, Adam, remember? But Bubby here got cold feet." Sauli declared, laughing.

"B-Bubby?"

"That's my nickname for him."

I turned to a very nervous looking Adam. "You never told me this…"

"I uh… it doesn't matter, Tommy… my past is not important! All that matters is _us, now_. Not me and _someone else _in the _past_!" he took my hand, but I shook it off.

"And how long will it be until _I'm _your _somebody else _in the past? You know what? No. I'm sleeping in _my _bunk, _he _can stay with _you_. Good _night_." I slammed the door closed behind me.

""""""""""""

Isaac leaned against the side of my bunk. "You ok, Tommy?"

"Yeah… I'm fine." I wiped at the tears that wouldn't stop coming.

Isaac hopped up on my bunk, and put an arm on my shoulders. "Come on, Tommy… it helps to talk about it."

I shook my head. "You'll just laugh."

"I promise I won't."

I sighed and confessed it all. Isaac listened without any snide comments or laughter. I put my head on his shoulder and continued sobbing.

"Shh, it's ok, Tommy, shh…" he stroked my hair like Adam does… there was something comforting… almost soothing about his voice…

I had calmed down, my crying slowed and turned into soft hiccups… all the while, Isaac held me.

"You know, I don't like Sauli either…"

That made me laugh. "Thanks, Isaac… you really didn't have to do all this."

"Why wouldn't I step in when my good friend is upset?"

I smiled.

Good friend. I was Isaac's good friend, and for once, I couldn't have been happier about being someone's good friend…


	10. Understanding

**Ok, so my writers block subsided a little bit… got an idea for this chapter in the car on the way home from drivers ed. Here you go!**

**Disclaimer: Like I said; I don't own the people, songs, or pretty much anything else I use in this story. **

**Enjoy!**

**~youtuber411**

**Chapter Ten: Understanding**

**Tommy POV:**

_There he goes my baby walk so slow_

He slipped his arm around me and rested his hand on my chest.

_Sexual, tick tack toe_

He pulled me close to him, singing into the microphone, smirking a little.

_Yeah I know we both know it isn't time_

He rested his forehead on mine.

_Ooh, but could you-_

His tongue darted out, mimicking mine, and he licked my tongue, then plunged his in my mouth, leaning me back on the upper stage. His rough, sensual, stage-only kisses always made this rush of adrenalin surge through my body, empowering me to play for hours on end. He strutted away, licking his lips.

_I hope you enjoy that, rockstar… because it won't happen again…_

_Not for a while…_

""""""""""""

"You guys did great! Adam, you were amazing!"

"Thank you so much, Sauli! That really means a lot!" Adam basked in the glory as I just mumbled my thanks and continued down to my dressing room, carrying my guitar. I set it on the stand right outside the door.

I noticed a glittery purple top hat with a feather, the one Adam wore for his 'If I Had You' music video. Then, a thought crossed my mind… _I share a dressing room with Adam. Great…_

I sat at the cluttered vanity and wiped off my red lipstick. I decided to leave my eye makeup, like I had done last night. _I just hope I don't cry again… _I thought, eyeing all the eyeliner and eye shadow that adorned my eyes, just picturing it all run down my face…

I'd have good reason to cry tonight… Adam usually interacted with me through the whole concert… but fever was our only physical contact through the entire show. I propped my chin up, elbow resting on the wooden vanity desk top.

I smiled at the eyeliner tubes, the eye shadow containers, the foundation bottles. I ran my finger, dazed through a pile of spilled glitter, shocked when I realized that I'd traced the name: 'Adam' in the shimmering powder.

The door opened, suddenly, making me jump and snapping me out of my thoughts. It was Adam. I looked away, quickly. He noticed.

"Oh, nice of you to grace me with eye contact for that brief moment." he slammed his belt chain on the vanity. "I don't know what you're so bent out of shape about… he's and ex for god's sakes!"

"It's not that!" I blew up, standing so quickly, I knocked the chair over. "It's how close you two are! It's almost like your still in love with him! You'll poke him, play with his hair, that hug at the bar? That fucking pissed me off!" I was walking towards him, and he was backing up. He hit the wall hard, but he never tore his shocked eyes off me. "Where did he sleep last night, huh?"

"He-he… you said it was ok that-"

"No! I said that, but I didn't fucking mean it! What were you thinking, Adam? Do you really think I would mean something like that? Of course not! Adam! Come on, get real!" I shouted, breathless… then I realized I was shouting… not only that, but I was shouting at my boyfriend, my lover, and he was backed up against the wall, a stunned look across his face. The gems that decorated his widened eyes glistened a little in the light from the vanity mirror.

Then I realized what I had said. My eyes widened and I backed up slowly. I didn't mean for all that to come out! I didn't want him to know what I thought about him and Sauli! My cheeks burned.

Adam moved towards me, a strange look in his eyes.

"Are you jealous, Tommy Joe?" a smirk. Oh, he's enjoying this, isn't he?

"N-no." this time, _I _was backed up against the wall…

"Do you _really _think I would replace you with an _ex_, Tommy?" he asked softly, making me nervous. I shook my head, franticly. He placed his hands on the wall on either side of my head. His lips inches from mine, I could feel his minty breath.

"Then why would you think such a thing? Don't you know how much I _love _you?" his voice hovered a little over a whisper.

"I-I'm not sure why-"

"I think you should ask Longenue… he walked into my room at three last night, getting the Tylenol out of my bathroom cabinet, and do you know what he saw?" his deep blue eyes were locked on mine, making it impossible to look away.

"N-no…"

"He saw me, in my bed, and he saw Sauli," I flinched as the name pass through his lips, "on my bedroom floor."

"Really?" he nodded, slowly. "Oh…"

"Oh." he repeated in a now-you-get-it-? tone. "What ever happened to our 'If something's bothering me, I'll tell you before I go all ballistic' promise, hmm?"

"I… I'm so sorry…" tears stung my eyes. Shit.

"You know… you yelling at me was kinda sexy… major turn-on for me."

"R…really?"

"Hell yeah. And that kiss onstage…" he closed his eyes and touched his forehead to mine. "Total bliss." he breathed.

I had to agree. "Yeah-"

"And the way you looked when you were all jealous…" he smiled, causing my cheeks to burn even more. "Very hot." he winked at me.

"You think so?"

"Hell yeah, I do! Never seen you so worked up… _ever_!" My face got hotter. "And I _loved _it…" he cupped my face in his hands, pulling me towards him, kissing me. Our tongues fought for dominance, but I let him win. He explored the inside of my mouth, running his tongue along my teeth. I felt his lips tighten as he smiled into the kiss… and I couldn't help but smile as well… I love you, Adam Lambert… I love you…


	11. Authors Notes

**Hello, All! Just want you all to know that I'm in the process of writing a sequel! It's called The Heart of it All. So far I've got a few chapters up… check it out!**

**~BornWithGLITTEROnMyFace**


End file.
